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A girl in pigtails once said,
"There's no place like home."
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But then her home didn't have a toilet
that flushed for no reason.
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And a boyfriend who was moving out
for one big reason.
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That's the last of it.
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Okay.
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You want me to fix that?
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No, it's okay.
I can get someone to come and fix it.
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Just let me get in there for a sec.
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-Hold the ball cock.
-Huh?
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-This thing right here.
-Oh.
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Yeah, right there.
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That should do it.
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I should go.
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You can't leave.
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Our last words to each other
can't be "ball cock."
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You should definitely stay.
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At least for another day.
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Or forever.
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We've been through this.
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I can't.
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Are you sure?
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I am.
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Aidan, um...
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This is difficult to say.
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Um...
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I left the ring on the clown table.
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-That's yours.
-No, no, no.
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I should never have accepted it
in the first place. I'm sorry.
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-Please take the ring.
-I want you to have it.
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Please, take it.
38
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If you do or say...
39
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one more nice thing...
40
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Okay, I gotta go.
41
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All right, I can't watch you leave,
so I think I'm just gonna...
42
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I'm better... I'm gonna stand here.
Could you just...
43
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Could you just, um, shut the door?
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-Carrie.
-I know.
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Go.
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Three hours later,
I peeled myself off the bathroom floor.
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Apparently there were things that
were difficult for Aidan to say as well.
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I curled up
to read Aidan's last words to me,
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also known as the good-bye letter.
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-Aidan's evicting her?
-He's not evicting her.
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He giving her 30 days
to decide what she wants to do.
52
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-Well, that's just tacky.
-Look, life gets complicated.
53
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Steve and I are drawing up papers
to timeshare our kid.
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Great love stories are supposed to end
with tragedy and tears,
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not papers from the law firm
of Gold and Vogel.
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This is more than fair.
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He's asking you to buy your apartment
for the exact price he paid,
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or you can vacate and he'll sell it.
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Vacate?
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I'm homeless.
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I'll be a bag lady.
A Fendi bag lady, but a bag lady.
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Maybe you should think about
buying your place.
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No, I am not a buyer.
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New York is a town of renters.
Everybody rents.
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-I don't.
-I don't.
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-I don't.
-You got yours in the settlement.
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You did not have to pay
for your apartment.
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Oh, I paid for that apartment.
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I'm pregnant. I can't control it.
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Well, honey, you better learn,
because that is unappetizing.
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I know. I am so swollen and gassy.
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I'm like a flotation device.
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I'll get this one.
And I don't want a fight out of you.
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Save it for your down payment.
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Oh! Excuse me.
You bought the Chanel wallet?
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Oh, no, Richard gave it to me as a gift.
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-Nice. What was the occasion?
-No occasion.
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-He is in love with you.
-He's not in love with me.
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-You don't know that.
-Yes, I do.
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Take a look at the card.
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"Style for style.
Best, Richard."
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-"Best." Yikes.
-"Best" is the worst.
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Yeah, even Gold and Vogel
give you "sincerely."
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"Best" is like signing "Not love."
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It's the thought
that counts.
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He bought you something
he knew you'd love.
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He's a pretty generous guy, with money.
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Aidan wanted me to keep the ring.
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You did, didn't you?
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Oh, honey, you're a fool.
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No. It was the right thing to do.
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Do you ever think about
giving yours back?
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No, I love that ring.
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I couldn't keep it.
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Every time I looked at it,
it would break my heart.
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This ring is worth a lot.
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Tiffany, 2. 17 carats, platinum setting.
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Beautiful cut, very few inclusions.
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So, what do you want to do with it?
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I was thinking
maybe I'd turn it into a necklace.
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A floating diamond necklace
would be to die. Very now.
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So, a lot of people do this.
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These were my baguettes.
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Because it turned out
my husband was a faggot,
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now they're earrings.
But he had good taste.
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So a necklace?
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I'm not sure.
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Maybe a pendant.
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We can melt down the platinum setting
and turn it into spectacular earrings.
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Melt? Melt it down?
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There,
in the wedding band boneyard,
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Charlotte started to melt down.
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I don't think I'm ready for this.
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Just don't take it
to the gypsies next door.
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Okay.
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Let's look at your assets
here at the bank.
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-We may be able to use them
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as collateral for the loan.
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Linda, Line 1.
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Okay, it says here that you have
$700 in your checking account.
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I just paid my credit card bill.
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And $957 in savings.
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Look, Linda.
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You're single, right?
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So I'm sure that
you can appreciate my problem.
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I just broke up with my fiancé,
which, trust me, is traumatic enough...
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Linda, Line 2.
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And now I have 25 days
to either find the money to buy my place
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or I am out on the street.
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Do you have any other income,
besides the column?
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No.
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But I was chosen as New York Magazine's
best pick for city columnist.
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I was the pick over Pete Hamill.
135
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What about your assets outside the bank?
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-Property, stocks, bonds?
-No, no, no.
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I'm sorry, Ms. Bradshaw,
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but you are not
a desirable candidate for a loan.
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After assessing
what little assets I had,
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I realized I would have to
change my lifestyle.
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Excuse me,
could you tell me how much the bus is?
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$1 .50.
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Really?
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Wow, last time I took the bus,
it was like 75 cents.
145
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You know, for 3 more bucks,
you could take a cab.
146
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For crying out loud.
147
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Why do you have to take the bus
if you're on the bus?
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My thoughts exactly.
149
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So here I was,
a 35-year-old single woman
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with no financial security,
but many life experiences behind me.
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-Did that mean nothing?
152
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,565
After all, heartbreak and breakups
are the hardest kind of work.
153
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So shouldn't there be
some sort of credit for enduring them?
154
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And if not,
how do you retain a sense of value
155
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when you have nothing concrete
to show for it?
156
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:39,204
Because at the end
of yet another failed relationship,
157
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when all you have
are war wounds and self-doubt,
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you have to wonder, what's it all worth?
159
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,257
Let me just say again,
I love your gallery,
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so if there are ever any openings,
you have my résumé.
161
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Meanwhile,
a woman with far fewer financial worries
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was also contemplating her worth.
163
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Charlotte knew
the ring didn't mean as much,
164
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now that she was no longer with Trey.
165
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But on that particularly low Thursday,
166
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she put on her 2. 17-carat diamond
167
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and wandered around
her 2. 17-carat Park Avenue apartment.
168
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That night, at Richard's...
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Another gift.
Are you trying to spoil me?
170
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That's the plan.
171
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-Oh, La Petite Coquette, my favorite.
-I know. I pay attention.
172
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Wait a minute. There's a card.
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Oh.
174
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The card.
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"Sexy for sexy. Best, Richard."
176
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Why don't you slip into that
while I pour us some Chrystal?
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I'll do my very best.
178
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Oh...
179
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:15,466
Water, water everywhere,
and not a drop to drink.
180
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181
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,344
Oh, this is torture.
182
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:21,014
Why are you doing this to me?
I can't buy shoes.
183
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,766
Well, I have to buy shoes.
None of my old ones fit.
184
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Even my feet are fat.
185
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-These are pretty.
-I'm looking for comfortable.
186
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,772
Then I'll try these for you.
187
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,316
-Excuse me, sir.
-Yes?
188
00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:33,484
Could I try these, please,
in a seven-and-a-half?
189
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,652
-Sure.
-Oh.
190
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,654
Um, and these, and...
191
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,158
And, well, I guess, just all of these.
192
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,786
But, sir, no matter what happens
in the next 20 minutes,
193
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under no circumstances
am I to buy these.
194
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,333
I'm just trying them on for fun.
195
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,043
How fun for me.
196
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,630
Could I try these in a nine?
197
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:54,839
-Sure.
-Thanks.
198
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,721
-What is that smell?
-Sorry.
199
00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:05,099
I've learned to control the sound now,
but not the activity.
200
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:07,101
That's just mean.
201
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:08,853
Damn!
202
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,522
How are people gonna know to scatter
without a warning?
203
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:15,109
Although, maybe it's not that
I control the noise
204
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:18,780
as much as my ass is so big
the sound is now muffled.
205
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,406
Look at my fingers.
206
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,909
They're like sausages.
I can't even get my ring off.
207
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:27,038
I'm telling you, the fat ass,
the farting, it's ridiculous.
208
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,414
I am unfuckable.
209
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:32,001
And I have never been so horny
in my entire life.
210
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,503
-Really?
-Yeah.
211
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:36,589
That's why you're supposed to be married
when you're pregnant,
212
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,050
so somebody is obligated
to have sex with you.
213
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,138
-I'm an undesirable.
-No, I am.
214
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:49,185
The lady at the bank said I was
an unattractive candidate for a loan.
215
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,397
Where did all my money go?
I know I made some.
216
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:58,152
Uh, at $400 a pop,
how many of these do you have? Fifty?
217
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,071
Come on.
218
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,030
A hundred?
219
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,366
Would that be wrong?
220
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,868
100 times 400,
there's your down payment.
221
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,620
Well, that's only $4,000.
222
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:09,914
No, it's $40,000.
223
00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:10,999
224
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:16,421
I spent $40,000 on shoes
225
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,256
and I have no place to live?
226
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:24,053
I will literally be the old woman
who lived in her shoes.
227
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,724
[Miranda farts, sighs]
228
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,518
I pulled my own finger.
229
00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,854
I'm a walking whoopee cushion.
230
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,483
When a girl gets backed up
against the wall she can't afford,
231
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,319
she has to consider renting others.
232
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,071
That's the closet?
233
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,574
Where do the shoes go?
234
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,160
You get one of those racks
that hang on the door.
235
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,955
I'll hang myself on a door
if I have to live here.
236
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,209
Do...
237
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,836
Do I smell curry?
238
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,339
There's an Indian restaurant downstairs.
239
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:03,009
Delia, I ask you,
240
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:07,638
how can this apartment
be $2,800 a month?
241
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:10,308
I pay $750 for something
that's twice the size,
242
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,809
and it don't smell like takeout.
243
00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:15,229
You have a rent-controlled apartment,
I suggest you stay there.
244
00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:18,858
Well, unfortunately,
that's really not an option.
245
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,612
What other shitholes
are you showing me today?
246
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:26,991
I have to be honest. With your attitude
and price limitations,
247
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,535
I think you should consider Weehawken.
248
00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:33,164
Uh, get back to me
when the numbers are in.
249
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:39,212
Well, look at you, all dressed up.
Applying for a job here?
250
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,631
So this is where you work.
251
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,468
It's cute. It's smaller than I expected.
252
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:50,515
I always imagined rows and rows
of blondes in tight sweaters, typing.
253
00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:51,766
Oh, they're at lunch.
254
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,646
-I am here in an official capacity.
-Oh.
255
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,523
Aren't you gonna ask me to sit down?
256
00:14:58,606 --> 00:15:00,274
By all means. Pick a chair.
257
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,736
Faced with
the prospect of Weehawken,
258
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,697
I decided it was time
to call in the big guns.
259
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:10,493
Now, what can I do for you?
260
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:15,289
I once read that you took something
like $3 million and leveraged it
261
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,167
to build a $100 million building.
How did you do that?
262
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,420
What's going on?
263
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,714
I want to buy my apartment
but I have no money.
264
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,053
I'm worth nothing.
265
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,516
You're worth a million bucks, Bradshaw.
266
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,852
Well, maybe you should
go work at a bank.
267
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,731
Aidan and I broke up.
268
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,903
So it's not just money troubles.
269
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:49,991
Why didn't you call me?
270
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,451
I got enough troubles.
271
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,246
What happened?
272
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,583
Apparently you were right,
I am not the marrying kind.
273
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,501
Or the timing wasn't right.
274
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,921
You're gonna be okay, kid.
275
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,552
So, I need money. You know money.
276
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,805
I need to know
what you know about money.
277
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,223
Simple.
278
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,060
I'll tell you how to get the money.
279
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:21,063
Big offered me the money
for my down payment.
280
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,191
But I could never take it.
281
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:29,113
-Could I?
-No, you couldn't.
282
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:31,741
He just gave you $30,000?
283
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,618
As a loan. I would pay him back.
284
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,077
Take the money.
285
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,622
When a man gives you money,
you give him control.
286
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:41,292
It's just money.
Man, woman, who cares? It's fluid.
287
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:44,295
Someone needs it, you give it.
You need it, you take it.
288
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,422
I'm uncomfortable
with this conversation.
289
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,924
We shouldn't be talking about money.
290
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,717
Why not? We talk about everything else.
291
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:51,802
People are funny about money.
292
00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,889
Like Richard,
he's happy to buy me gifts, but...
293
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,307
Still no "love"?
294
00:16:56,390 --> 00:17:00,144
No, but he continues to send his best.
295
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:03,981
Don't cash Big's cheque.
I'll loan you the money.
296
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,526
You're about to have a baby.
I can't take your money.
297
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:09,111
And furthermore, do you have that much?
298
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,488
I have about half that.
299
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,074
What? Does no one else shoe shop?
300
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:14,492
I could loan you the rest.
301
00:17:15,910 --> 00:17:22,083
Look, that is really, really sweet
of you two to offer.
302
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,709
303
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:29,423
It's really, really sweet,
but I'm gonna do this on my own.
304
00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:30,424
305
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,431
So I can't tape it back.
306
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,851
-I have news.
-Ooh?
307
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:44,522
Looks like I've gotten a job as a docent
at the Museum of Modern Art.
308
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,983
- Mmm.
-What does that pay? I can docent.
309
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:51,112
Oh, it's a volunteer job,
but they're very coveted positions.
310
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,655
Oh.
311
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,781
You come back.
312
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,374
I have no fortune.
313
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,876
I didn't need a cookie to tell me that.
314
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:10,381
You know, these fans only cost a dollar.
315
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,842
I'm gonna save a lot of money
on air conditioning.
316
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,264
You okay?
317
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,268
No apartment and no Aidan.
318
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,024
It's been a rough two weeks.
319
00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,864
Just give me a block. I'm gonna be fine.
320
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:49,462
As I thought about leaving the apartment
that I had lived in for the past decade
321
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,756
I realized how much I would miss it.
322
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:54,175
Through everything,
it had always been there for me.
323
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,219
And suddenly I was irrationally angry
324
00:18:58,429 --> 00:19:02,516
and I knew just where and who
to take it irrationally out on.
325
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,269
Hi. What are you doing here?
326
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:07,313
I was just in the neighborhood.
327
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,066
Well, come on in.
328
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,610
You want some iced tea or something?
329
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,071
Why didn't you offer me the money?
330
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:19,200
-I knew you were gonna say that.
-I wouldn't take it.
331
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,410
Then what does it matter
if I offer it or not?
332
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,495
Because...
333
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,747
I would've offered it to you.
334
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:26,374
You're my friend.
335
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,043
Money and friendship don't mix.
336
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,587
My father and his friend Paul
were never the same--
337
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:36,092
We're not talking about your father
and his friend Paul.
338
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:40,262
We're talking about you
and your friend, me.
339
00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,640
And for the record, I am aware
340
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:47,561
that I have some financial messiness
that I have to clean up, and to that end
341
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:50,064
I am looking into
some freelance magazine work.
342
00:19:50,147 --> 00:19:53,150
I have been offered $4 a word at Vogue.
That is a lot.
343
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:54,860
Most people get $2.
344
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:59,365
So yes, I have made some mistakes,
and, Charlotte
345
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,201
you have made some mistakes.
346
00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:03,953
And when you were making those mistakes,
347
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,248
I was sitting across from you
at the coffee shop,
348
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:10,292
nodding, and listening,
and supporting you.
349
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:13,671
I was not sitting
at a Chinese restaurant
350
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:17,842
turning away,
when you should have been looking at me.
351
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:21,470
And what kills me is
you don't even have to work.
352
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,055
You're volunteering.
353
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:29,019
Carrie, I love you.
354
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:33,858
But it's not my job
to fix your finances.
355
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,737
You're a 35-year-old woman.
356
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:40,614
You need to learn to stand on your own.
357
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:41,824
Charlotte...
358
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,536
What is that on your finger?
359
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:50,875
I just wear it
when I'm alone in my house.
360
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,793
And you're telling me
to be more independent?
361
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,713
It's my ring.
I can wear it if I want to.
362
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,174
And so what if it makes me feel better?
363
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,842
And for the record,
364
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:03,387
the only reason that I'm volunteering
is because no one will hire me.
365
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:05,639
I've called seven galleries.
366
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:09,185
Apparently I have too much experience.
367
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,105
You're right.
368
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:14,774
It's your ring, your business.
369
00:21:14,857 --> 00:21:16,692
I just got all worked up
on the walk over here.
370
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,402
You walked?
371
00:21:18,486 --> 00:21:21,405
No, I took a $5 cab ride, 7 blocks.
372
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,326
These shoes pinch my feet,
but I love them.
373
00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:28,788
I am in a financial cul-de-sac.
374
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:31,665
But I'm gonna take the bus.
375
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,418
Just hope I'm not on it.
376
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:41,342
Meanwhile,
in the lap of luxury...
377
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:42,843
378
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,931
It's okay.
I'm Richard's assistant, and I'm gay.
379
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,600
Okay. Turn around,
and give a girl a moment.
380
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:53,521
I'm Roger,
and you weren't supposed to be here.
381
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:56,398
Richard left, and I decided
to take a nice relaxing bath,
382
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,025
but now that's shot to shit.
383
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:00,903
Okay, decent.
384
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:06,867
I am so sorry,
but if it's any consolation, wow.
385
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:08,035
Pilates.
386
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:12,623
So why haven't I seen you
around the office?
387
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:17,461
Uh... He has three assistants.
I run his errands.
388
00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,879
Oh, his errands.
389
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,425
Is that an errand
gift-wrapped on the bed?
390
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,761
Uh...
391
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:30,516
All right, I'm his personal shopper.
392
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,310
-He's a very busy man.
-I'll bet.
393
00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:38,399
Exactly how many women
are you buying gifts for?
394
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:39,316
What do you mean?
395
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,736
Roger, honey, you've seen my bush.
We're a little past acting coy.
396
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:46,115
Since you came into the picture,
a lot less.
397
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,576
And he's never sent me to Chanel before.
398
00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:51,287
That was fun. Great wallet.
399
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:53,289
Also came in red,
but I couldn't decide--
400
00:22:53,372 --> 00:22:55,791
So, Richard didn't pick out
any of these gifts?
401
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,251
Technically, no.
402
00:22:57,334 --> 00:23:00,462
But, uh, he really, really likes you.
I can tell.
403
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:02,047
Mmm, yeah, he thinks I'm the best.
404
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,717
Wait, the cards.
405
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,845
"Style for style"? "Sexy for sexy"?
406
00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:08,929
Um...
407
00:23:09,847 --> 00:23:10,848
"Me for you."
408
00:23:12,474 --> 00:23:14,018
Please, don't have me fired.
409
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,937
I'll tell you what.
I'll pretend you don't exist.
410
00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:20,190
-Thank you.
-If you do one thing for me.
411
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,947
Oh, Richard.
412
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,659
-I thought you'd like it.
-Oh, you did?
413
00:23:31,952 --> 00:23:33,162
Oh! Oops.
414
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:34,997
I forgot the card.
415
00:23:38,834 --> 00:23:40,127
"Gorgeous for gorgeous.
416
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,005
Love, Richard."
417
00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:55,184
I love you, Samantha.
418
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,812
-I do.
-You do?
419
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:03,984
And I love...
420
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:07,404
this.
421
00:24:08,656 --> 00:24:10,950
Samantha could have said,
"I love you."
422
00:24:11,033 --> 00:24:13,619
But she was afraid
it would cost her too much.
423
00:24:13,702 --> 00:24:15,579
So she did what she did best.
424
00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:23,587
Okay, so every other Saturday
and Wednesday at 5:00, you take him.
425
00:24:23,671 --> 00:24:26,256
I was thinking 4:57 would be better.
426
00:24:26,340 --> 00:24:27,549
You think this is stupid?
427
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:32,346
No, I just was thinking that
things are gonna get off-schedule.
428
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:35,307
I mean, we're talking about a kid,
not a train.
429
00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:40,562
I'd offer to do that for you,
but I don't think it's in the contract.
430
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:41,981
Don't give me a hard time.
431
00:24:42,564 --> 00:24:44,942
I could fart you into oblivion
right now.
432
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:49,446
433
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:52,783
Oh, that feels so great.
434
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:54,743
Thanks.
435
00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:59,456
Steve, am I ugly?
436
00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:00,541
What?
437
00:25:02,251 --> 00:25:04,878
No. You got that glow.
438
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,214
But would you want to have sex with me?
439
00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:09,216
What are you talking about?
440
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,218
You're pregnant.
441
00:25:11,301 --> 00:25:12,302
Yeah.
442
00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:16,765
And another charming side effect,
aside from flatulence and bloating,
443
00:25:16,849 --> 00:25:18,767
is all I can think about is sex.
444
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:21,478
And who would want to have sex with me?
445
00:25:24,189 --> 00:25:25,774
I'd like to have sex with you,
446
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,736
but I'm pretty sure
that it's not allowed.
447
00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:32,698
I've read section B-14 in the contract,
448
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,160
and it said nothing about sex.
449
00:25:36,827 --> 00:25:38,120
Fuck the contract.
450
00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:41,749
And please fuck me.
451
00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:50,466
-Ouch.
-What?
452
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:51,508
You're squishing me.
453
00:25:51,592 --> 00:25:52,718
-I'm sorry.
-No.
454
00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:59,475
That night, Steve gave Miranda
multiple orgasms, for what it's worth.
455
00:25:59,558 --> 00:26:03,020
Just to be clear,
this doesn't mean we're a couple.
456
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:04,688
This is a mercy fuck.
457
00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:15,324
I'm sorry about the other day.
458
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:18,452
And I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.
459
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:19,578
You were right.
460
00:26:19,661 --> 00:26:22,039
I haven't wanted to let go
of being Mrs. Trey MacDougal.
461
00:26:22,122 --> 00:26:24,708
Well, I think that
you are coping amazingly well.
462
00:26:26,251 --> 00:26:27,544
I'm just scared.
463
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:29,588
I know.
464
00:26:30,631 --> 00:26:31,632
Me too.
465
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:32,925
Wow.
466
00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:35,636
We're alone again.
467
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:37,096
Yeah.
468
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:51,360
I want you to take the ring
for your down payment.
469
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:55,197
Oh, no, no, I can't, I can't.
You love this ring.
470
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,281
No.
471
00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,575
I love what the ring represented.
472
00:26:58,659 --> 00:27:01,495
No, Charlotte, I think you're right.
It would make things too complicated.
473
00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:04,248
Carrie, this is a straightforward
business proposal.
474
00:27:04,331 --> 00:27:05,457
Clean and simple.
475
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,544
Why do I have all this money
if I can't help out a friend?
476
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:10,838
But it would be a loan.
I'll pay you back.
477
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:12,256
I know.
478
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,426
I want you to think
really carefully about this.
479
00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:17,803
I have.
480
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:21,598
Will you be comfortable knowing that
it will take me time to pay you back?
481
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,100
Yes, I will.
482
00:27:32,192 --> 00:27:33,735
I really appreciate this.
483
00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:36,113
And I'll pay you back.
You know that, right?
484
00:27:37,406 --> 00:27:38,407
I do.
485
00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:41,493
It's okay. I trust you.
486
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,495
Will you take the ring?
487
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:46,874
I will.
488
00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,293
Thank you.
489
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:52,462
Charlotte had taken
her painful past
490
00:27:52,546 --> 00:27:54,882
and turned it into my hopeful future,
491
00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:57,801
-and that made the ring priceless.
-Oh!
492
00:27:58,802 --> 00:28:00,971
I start work at the museum next week.
493
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:03,932
Ooh. That's great. Oh, guess what.
494
00:28:04,016 --> 00:28:08,312
I got Vogue up to $4.50 a word.
495
00:28:11,732 --> 00:28:12,983
I fixed the toilet,
496
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:15,485
and I should be done with this
by the end of the afternoon.
497
00:28:15,569 --> 00:28:17,362
Okay, great. Thank you.
498
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:24,953
It wasn't quite as easy as clicking
my Manolo Blahniks three times,
499
00:28:25,037 --> 00:28:26,163
but it was worth it.
500
00:28:26,997 --> 00:28:27,998
I was home.
501
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:37,466